I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
