i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
