he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
