I am puke
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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