Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I enjoy the company of your penis
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
