About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
