We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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