Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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