But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
