More tranny stories later!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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