but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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