WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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