so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
