i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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