In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
