so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
