What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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