my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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