i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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