well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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