rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
