I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
