Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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