love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
