You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You can't just leave with hair like that
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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