yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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