I look better un-naked...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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