Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
farters have to be the big spoon...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
