Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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