I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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