But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i need some magic done to my vagina
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize