Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
