Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
