brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Pants are for mortals
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
