So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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