you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
