This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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