That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
