im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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