Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
