yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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