so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
