I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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