I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
