AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
