i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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