You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
