Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
