I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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