I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
