There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
