my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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